Thoughts on Kids
There are two quotes that I know of from the Bible concerning
which path is more desireable, that of a celibate
or that of a householder.
In both quotes it states that if one can accept being a celibate, then
being celibate is best, but if one cannot accept it, then one should go
for being a householder. There are several statements like this from
many religious movements like ISKCON
all the way to Pure Land Buddhism.
So what does it mean to accept
or not accept celibacy? Well I'd guess accepting would be like grabbin
a rung of a ladder and climbin onto it, and not acceptin would be like
wantin to go up there, but the celibacy rung is to high, and so you go
get a potato pan or somethin to stand on.
And that potato pan ain't no
picnic basket. If you go that way, you're in for a thirty-year or more
detour. Later on maybe you'll be alive, healthy and can part ways with
the "pleasures" of seminal hemmoragin, bean countin and playin with
tardlers. Maybe by then you'll realize you just took a very, very long
detour on the way to God's kingdom. Perhaps standin on that pan wasn't
all that necessary, was it?
When asked if he loves his
kids, typically a father will pause a moment, then say, "Yuppers, I
love 'em more than anythin." But what was that pause? What gives? The
child-parent relationship is love-hate, somethin that works right up to
a perfect balancin point between dishin out from the kids and puttin up
from the parents. They get what they need by bein cute and funny, all
of which are actually expressions of incompetence. This is why the
great acharyas of our time
say that you pay off your karma through your kids. That's like Hinduese
for "your kids constantly torment you." I could go pay off some karma
at a slave labor camp, too - if that's what I was lookin for.
At this point let us read from
the daring brainiac Eric
Hufschmid on the matter of kids and all their madcap antics:
...There's plenty of toys for
everybody. But when one boy sees another boy playing with a toy, he
that he needs that toy, so he drops his own toy and grabs the toy from
the other boy, and then plays with it with no shame or embarrassment.
...You [probably] know that
is that children are NOT miniature adults. I think children are an
of what our primitive ancestors were like. Young children are like
They consider everything around them to be their own personal property.
They grab at whatever they please. And once they grab something, they
it to be their own. Children will grab items from retail stores and
other people without any shame or embarrassment.
When food is put on a dinner
table, both animals and young children
will grab at it. And if the children are very hungry, they resemble
even more closely because their emotions will overpower what little
Young children also eat just
like animals. For example, they'll play
with their food just like a cat plays with a mouse. When I was a child
I thought it was fun to put butter on a piece of bread, pull off the
and then form the bread into cylinders, squares, rectangles, and other
shapes. And young children consider it entertaining to throw food at
another, and very young children even consider it amusing to splash
such as water or soup.
And it doesn't bother
children to eat with their mouth open, or spit
food onto the table, or eat food that they spit out. And when children
are hungry, they will sometimes eat as rapidly as an animal, often
chewing the food.
Children and animals are not
bothered by their waste products, either.
Children don't care how messy a bathroom is, or even how messy their
Most people are not aware of
how crude children are because we have
powerful attractions to children. Women have such intense attractions
babies that it doesn't bother them much when babies vomit on them. The
terrible qualities of children would be more obvious if an adult were
behave exactly the same.
I think it's important to
have a realistic understanding of animals
and children because I think it will help us to understand adult
Just look at your own life. You should be able to see major changes in
your personality and behavior. Young
children and babies are parasites
that require constant feeding and care, and they give nothing in return.
When they don't get their way, they have temper tantrums. Their
is more disgusting than the most arrogant and selfish king of the
Ages. If children had the strength and independence of an adult, they'd
be dangerous. Fortunately, children are physically weak, and very
It takes quite a few years
before children can understand such concepts
as personal property, plagiarism, theft, and lying. And it takes years
for children to develop a concern for how they eat their meals.
Sit on a potato pan, Otis, but don't ever stand on one, or you're
likely to spill them taters to out to tarnation, and waste your
valuable life raisin up another rascal who shouldn't have been reborn
in the first place. Amen.