The Knights of Banjo Hollow

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The Knights of Banjo Hollow

China vs. India

In the last two decades, we've heard lots about these two countries. Why back about twelve years ago I heard it, and I made sense out of it. My conclusion now is as it was then: the growth in China is real, and the growth in India is all hat and no cattle. In fact I think we are seeing the end of this 'xaggeration, the 2010 Commonwealth Games flopped [1] [2], and now a few realistic economic predictions are coming out about India.

I went to India in 2008 to worship the Lord with Karunamayi, a meditation master of great repute throughout the world. There are certainly many great masters there, because the environment is so hostile - anyone who comes out of that with a benevolent heart is sure to be a saint. Hostile? I'm talkin bout the lustiest men on the planet - even more so than Blacks. I'm talkin bout an environment chock full of poison karma - from the wild beasts all the way down to tiny fire ants that send stings up your whole body. I'm talkin bout pollution roughly four times worse than in Chinese cities. Yup, I'm talkin bout a hell hole that ain't going nowheres - India.

There was two meanings to these shenaningans. These abrupt, madcap antics. I'll tell ya. One: the road to your master will never be a smooth one. Yup, God tests you when you go to your true teacher. Two. Not all that glitters is gold.

So I'll say it, fellow Knights. The depth of the India scam is so deep that even the very idea that India exists is questionable. They are an incomprehensible cobbler of every race and nation you could think of. It turns out, this succotash of nations didn't exist before the British. (You know the Guinea pig? I think Guinea is what many people thinks of when they talk of "Old India.") But that's all hobbled together with everything else. It's a huge mess of bureaucracies. Their basic public services do not exist. Their roads are right sorry-lookin.

They have no national language. For a redneck like myself to learn Hindi was no picnic, but after gettin to India you realize that most people don't speak Hindi at all, and it ain't even on them signs.

The people there are masters at sayin things all purdy, puttin perfume on pigs and the like. Why, I done saw a schoolgirl named Lavanga (from Karunamayi's school) come out of a hovel made of sticks dressed better than the Queen of England. Sure, her dad's an alcoholic who gambles and smokes and drinks in their hovel all night long. But out of that stick hovel came the queen of England. That's like a chihuahua givin birth to a German shepherd. And all of them are like that. Lookin all good. Slicked up. Fresh flowers in their hair. The men look slick, too. Yet they don't even have a society!

They've got these huge camionos runnin on leaded fuel, spewin fumes all over. But you wouldn't guess it. They painted all kinds of purdy designs on them trucks - all intricate and convoluted. What's next? Embroidered toilet cozies? Well, no, you'd have to have toilets first.

In addition, all them religions are just another part of that sugar coating the Hindus are putting on their garbage (without puttin it in the landfill). It's their high-falutin gibberish about how good they is. But if even one of them billion or so folks there even practiced their religion for two seconds, you'd think they could lay a pipe on the side of the road, don't ya? It's all this jab flappin and no real work.

In China, on the other hand, the government is pretty intent on "real" stuff. The infrastructure stuff. The signs. Clear, legible stuff, all one language. They smoke a lot and have more abortions than there are stars in the sky. But they do, in fact, have a decent hardware to their society. They dress it up a bit. Not on the surface so much, but on the openin day, when they cut the ribbon and such. They have some opera singer with lanky, confused tall models shiftin their hands in random directions behind him. He's singin some opera song to the new bridge or somethin. But they don't draw pictures on it. They make sure it's built first. Then they make sure it works. Two things Indians can't do.

Anyway, as the Indian horsefeather factory is busy exporting to the West, the draw of India is great for many seekers. All I can say is, if you can find any way to do what you're doing somewhere else, do it. Don't go. I don't know a single person who went there and still recommends it. The polite ones will just tell you some good cures for the runs, like that big-eyed bhagani on Youtube, Suchandradasi. It don't matter if you go north or south so much. It's all the same for the most part (or that's at least what Captain Corndog and the Couchsurfin Cult told me). You'll lose all your money from their ridiculous prices and scams. The taxis won't run on the meter. All your food is dirty. You'll get sick as a dog, no doubt about it.

So yeah. Thank you India for your great aesthetics concerning clothin, cuisine, truck decoration and the like. But if you think we're buyin your tuk-tuk economic miracle anytime soon, you've got another thing comin.

Sorry for wastin so much of your time.

Yours kindly

Uncle Jeebers

****The KBH****

Related links: Chinese tourist takes pictures in India


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